Trusting Natural Development

Free at last! Free at last! Spencer has been soother free for a week now. Slowly he started picking it up less and less until I would make it available to him by setting it beside him on the bed at bedtime and it sat there for days until it fell down beside the bed. That was the end of it.

For the first 5 months of Spencer's life he cried and cried. He cried so much that when a friend's mom put a soother in his mouth and the crying stopped I was so relieved that I didn't stop to think about what that pacifier was telling him on on a deeper level. Hmmm... actually. I'm not sure that I really believe that the soother did lasting serious damage. I once did. When Spencer was 8 months I went to a series of Aware Parenting classes and was introduced to the idea of an infant's need to cry to heal emotionally. I came to see that eating to repress emotional pain and putting a soother in an infant's mouth were in the same vein. The realization was really hard for me. Soon after I tried to end our addiction by banishing it. It was so so horrible. It was like what I imagine detox would be like for a drug addict. I caved. Peace was restored.

I learned a lot about emotional healing from Aware Parenting. When Spencer is very upset I try to be in the moment with him and verbalize his emotions for him. I want him to know that I can handle any feeling he has to throw at me. I used to pace and jiggle and distract but now I let him have his emotions and simply be there with him and touch him and look at him.

Spencer's soother release has given me such hope and confidence that we are on the right parenting path. I'm trying hard not to rush him and allow him to develop at his own pace. I trust him. I trust his body and his mind. He is growing and learning exactly as he needs to and I'm just here to watch and support.

I love you sweet sweet child.